5th Yama: Aparigraha (non-possessiveness)

If you haven't read the blogpost about the yama's and the niyama's yet I would suggest you read that one first.

The 5th yama is aparigraha or non-possessiveness. It spoke to me because it has a lot of common ground with minimalism and essentialism, two topics that have interested me for quite some time now. Still I found that this yama goes way beyond just not owning an excess of things. It is also about giving space to other people, you don't own anyone and you don't own anyones time, things or expertise. However the topic of food stood out if you ask me. Don't eat too much. Don't take more than you need. That was quite the challenge during the month I tried to live with the yama desirelessness.

When it comes to owning things I don't tend to buy much that I don't need or don;t feel like is really going to add value to my life and I tend to think about something for at least a few days, weeks or even months before getting it. I would love to own much less than I do right now and get rid of much more than I did the past months and years but that's not the biggest challenge this month.

FIRST DILEMMA

I really love a sertain book series. I have always loved reading which is also the reason that I decided to get a subscription to the library earlier this year. Buying all those books was starting to get a bit expensive and I didn't really want to read all those books a second, third or even a fourth time so buying wasn't the best way to go. That said, they don't have this series at the library. So I thought that I would have to buy the book. But that would mean I would own the book and that doens't really suit non-possessiveness. Then I thought, maybe someone I know already has the book and I can borrow it, but no. Then I thought that maybe I would be able to find it online but that would mean that I wouldn't pay for it, so that would be stealing. So back to where we started, buying the book. When I buy a book I will get the ebook if possible, which in this case it is. It doesn't take up any space in the bookcase and keeps things much calmer, tidier. But buying the book, still means I will own it, even in it's digital form. Then i thought, what if I won't buy it? To be honest, I could easily wait a month, untill this is done. But that exactly is the trap here, I would be getting the book as soon as I am "allowed" to buy it again. So that is just postponing and I know that is something I am good at. Before I buy something it will often be on a list for weeks, months and sometimes even years. I definitely think it over. So I bought the book.

SECOND DILEMMA

Not eating too much. It's pretty simple, I love food and it can be quite difficult to guards my limits. Yes, I tend to eat too much. Sweet things are hard but my biggest problem lies with the main meals of the day. I think part of that comes from me only having one break in a full workday. Just a lunchbreak. Since I do tend to be pretty busy I will work up an appatite quite fast. To make sure I will be able to make it to my lunchbreak and then untill after work I tend to eat extra. It helps but isn't the healthiest thing to do and it sure doens't fit the yama non-possessiveness. It make me take more food than I need.

When I am the one doing the groceries it is easy enough to leave the sweet stuff on the shelfs and make sure to have healthier snacks on hand. The problem is however that I am typically no the one doing the groceries and when I open a kitchen kabinet and it's full of cookies or even worse, my dad puts a bowl of chocolate covered pepernoten (they are a dutch treat in fall) in front of me on the table, well lets just say they won't be there for too long.

THIRTH DILEMMA

My phone broke. My phone already was a few years old and I got it secondhand. From the very first day it was having some trouble and things only got worse of late. Then it just stopped working altogether. It died and never worked again. So I had to get a new phone.

From the day I found out about Fairphone I said that if I would ever have to replace my old one, I would get a Fairphone. They put our planet and it's people first. And that is something I love to support. That said, it's a whole lot of money to spend when you don't expect it. Especially when it turns out that is doesn't charge. So I went back to the store where they told me they would have to send it back to get it fixed and that would take 2 to 3 weeks. And I didn't get a replacement for the time being (or a new one, what is what I thought I would get since I basically got a phone that didn't work as it should). At moments like these you really notice how dependent you are of you phone these days. Pretty much al communications goes through that thing, for both school and work. Besides that I had a thon of lists and pictures on my old phone. All gone. A serious exercise in letting go. A real exercise in non-possessiveness.

In the end I got my phone back half a week later. And yet again it didn't charge. This time a repairstore near me gave the thing a electric shock after which it worked like normal. But let's be honest, this didn't go as I would have liked it to go.

That was it for today. Goodluck with the next steps on your bridge. I wish you all the happiness and an amazing day.

❤ Eva